And whenever I feel as if I need someone with me.
To hold me tight before the anxiety take over.
Someone to pick up the broken pieces.
To keep me from self-destruction.
I’m always left alone.

scream.

out for help.

loud enough for attention.

long enough to lose my breathe.

hard enough so i feel no other pain.

and i know you’re probably reading this. and i don’t want you to know this side of me. i know it turns people away. its just that i. cant. do. this. alone. at least not. anymore. i need to know that you care enough to not let this slip by you unnoticed.

i dont know what to do anymore.

im losing mself.

everyday im a bit more foreign.

everyday im bit farther.

everyday im wishing as if yesterday was the last.

in my personal opinion, what upsets me the most is losing people.
losing touch, ending friendships, drifting apart.
its all so sad to me. maybe its because i have a tendency of becoming so attached.  and i know i am very dependable on people. its a bad thing, and i wish i could change. maybe its because once i become close to someone i feel like its going to last. it sounds so dumb when i type it out. and it is. its immature and naive of me to think that friendships will last throughout life. that there will always be that certain someone who will be by your side through the thick and thin no matter how many years pass & how many fights you may get into. i think its to the point that i want to believe in it so bad, that i actually do. but every time it gets to that point, it just fails. i mean yeah, i learn to cope. but i think its different for me than other people. my priorities are all kinda of messed up. friends come before my family. so to lose a friend, is like losing a part of me. without them, id be nothing.

i need someone to talk me through this. i need someone to help me. without support, im not going to make it out in one piece. as it is, im already broken. already gone.

I feel empty, trapped, and in all; unhappy. I feel lost in an abyss of opportunities, with each closing as I seize another. I feel the world around me disappearing behind my back faster than I can grasp, everything seeping through my fingers as if I have lost all control. I have all these emotions that are occurring at once, that in no way possible could I sum into a sentence, let alone a word. Like a vase of water that has tipped over, no matter how hard I try, will every droplet come together where it was before. And to focus on purely the present is nearly impossible when all my judgements are reflections of my mistakes.

Always Love atmhammad's Photos

al0tus:

D.Ponce
19th Aug 201421:153 notes
19th Aug 201421:151 note
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P.Tse
19th Aug 201421:141 note
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Opaque  by  andbamnan